Ch 5 Caught Up

After throwing so many parties, this once thought as a "hustle" plan became a job. As I mentioned before I became more focused on throwing parties then really being at school. Surprisingly my grades did not change a bit though. I would now go to any means to throw at least two parties every month. This may not sound like much of a big deal but it used up most of my entire two last years of high school and prevented me from getting much sleep.

The one perk I guess that came from this new found hustle turned job was the female attention it brought with it. I never had a problem socializing with women but at this point in my life I became pretty involved with them. After most parties we would all go out to iHOP and just order a big ass meal and nice tip and then the gang and I would get these really plush hotels at the casino and the rest of the night only became history and routine.

I would have never thought this type of work would change my life so drastically but in such short time. Soon I began to feel as if I was 21 but in high school. I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do and was making the cash to go anywhere I wanted and to do anything I wanted. I have to admit, the lifestyle became addictive.

So as I became more "mature" I got involved with a different crowd of women. Those who were mature enough to not think twice about having a kid. I met this female whose name I won't mention (because it will just bring back many other stressful memories) in an area called the "loop." The loop was just a hang out strip for teens and young adult couples or singles to come down for a drink, ice cream, food or just sit out and have a good time socializing. We typically chilled in the loop on Fridays and Saturdays before we headed out to setup for our party.

Well one particular night when I met the devilish woman we first acknowledged the fact we attended the same school. Next she brought up the topic of me throwing parties. She was curious to find out what it was like to hang out with a guy like me who was making the type of money that came with the lifestyle I was living. I always figured that was one of the main reasons I received the level of attention I did. I didn't pay her much attention at first because I my only worry was making sure my party later that night would run smoothly.

Later that night after the party, a few guys and I went to East St. Louis where the clubs would remain open to six in the morning. Although this was not the safest place to be we were ignorant enough to go anyway. When we arrived at the club it was packed to the wall because an artist was going to perform that night. In fact I can still remember the artist, Trai'D. He had a song out called "gutta chick." Now back in high school well at least the high school I went to believed the ideology that all the guys wanted a gutta chick.  In other words, they wanted a female partner who would do anything for their man whether it was to help him financially, fight for him. This type of girl was also referred to as a "ride or die." As the night went by the club got hotter and hotter as it became close to the performance time for the artist. By that time the woman from the loop had arrived to the club with a group of her female friends. Stupidly I did not resist temptation and when the artist went up to perform I shortly found myself dancing with her.

The following week we began to see each other more and more often at school then we hung out outside of school on a weekend shortly after a few weeks. It didn't take much time until we were having sex on a regular basis. We began to do it unprotected because she told me she was on birth control. Unfortunately the crazy bitch was apparently lying.

It wasn't until a few months later after we had fell off that she told me she was pregnant. Once I heard the news I did not know what to do. I thought my life and education was all about to go down the drain. I immediately called my father to explain the situation. Surprisingly he was not upset but did expect me to step up and take responsibility. Being responsible wasn't the hard part though. Everyday at school she would taunt me about the situation basically telling the whole school that I had got her pregnant. For a short period of time I was embarrassed because I was one of the last people students thought who would get a female pregnant in high school. What made it worse is that she would threaten me by saying she would bust my car windows and slash my tires if I didn't do what she asked of me. I couldn't take the bullshit so I explained to her honestly why I felt like I was not able to be a father at the time. She didn't want to hear anything like that so she easily got even angrier and would come up to my part time job at Subway to cause trouble.

After a few weeks of the torture I received from the woman she contacted me and told me that she had got an abortion. I didn't know if I was supposed to be happy or guilty. I was happy knowing I didn't have to have a child with a woman like her but guilty for being part of the denial of life. Being so young at the time I could only move forward and try not to think so hard about it.

That incident was the one of the main factors that convinced me I had to give up the lifestyle I was living and focus more on my education.