Its my sophomore year. Things are good and life is fast. I am now at a point in my life where I overcame a huge obstacle. Staying in school. College isnt too bad after all. You just have to get up for class and attend. The workload isnt too stressful and I have gotten used to the campus. Some mornings I find it hard to get up because of the ambiguous weather. My sleep schedule is shitty due to class papers that take forever and a day to complete. For the most part this institution is an ok fit because I have a good circle of friends and have recently joined a frat (TKE) which has welcomed my character and benefits me as a young man.
That was my view at the beginning of a new semester. I figured the year would run smoothly. I had no worries.
As the school year went on it got closer and closer to thanksgiving break. Fall break wasnt important enough to take a trip home. This thanksgiving was going to be pretty special. I had not seen my family in almost a year and my friends over two years. My best friend Jonathan White was also going to be home during this visit because he was just released about a month ago from drug charges he faced over a year ago.
Last thanksgiving I spent my break in New Orleans with my father and the rest of my southern relatives.
Family time only began to become more important as I grew older and understood how much people meant to me because of their involvement in my life.
Once I arrived home I called John and we hung out that night like the good ole days. He was jus as excited to see me as I was to see him. It had been almost two years. John was like a little brother to me. Although he did not always take my advice we tended to have very deep conversations about our views on the world and how we saw our futures.
We chilled all night smoking and drinking. Back in high school he smoked but I didn't because of sports. I could not understand why he did so in high school, I was so against the idea of gettin' high. But began to smoke because it brought us closer together. It felt as if I could keep him out of trouble if I smoked with him. The night went on, as we chilled in his impala the car became hazy as we hot boxed the shit out of the car. Once we got the munchies we hit up the closest gas station and McDonald's. I was high as shit but at the same time very happy to be home away from Beloit.
After we grabbed food we came back to his house and sat in the car parked in the driveway. Still high, we began to talk about life. John mentioned to me how he wanted to get back in school and get his shit together. I was surprised to hear this coming from him because for a minute I swore he was trapped in his ways and soon would be in an amount of trouble of which I could not save him. He continued the conversation by telling me what he really wanted to do with his life and discussed having a son. As young men growing up we all wanted a Jr who we could raise and make sure we never left him and not be a dead beat father. Just hearing all of this from John was heart warming. I felt like I had gotten through to him to let him know he did not have to continue trying to live a hood life.
As John wrapped up his end of the conversation he stepped out the car and went into the house for about five minutes. When he came back to the car he stared straight out the windshield, paused with a slight look of nervousness on his face. He turned to me and asked "Do you know how to clean bullets?" I was shocked and answered "Um, no but I am sure there is a way you can do it." I had no fucking idea why he needed to clean bullets but from that moment I knew John was in some shit. John reached into the bag he brought back to the car and pulled out a black 9mm and the clip with about 8 bullets. He explained to me that he was about to rob somebody and it would be a quick job. I didn't think this was a great idea but as a friend I only replied "OK." Inside I felt really scared because I knew he may ask me to come along. He put the gun and clip back into the bag and we continued to smoke. After we finished the dubey we went to pick up another old friend Tin (Torin) from the North side. Tin was younger than both of us but had the heart of a grown ass man and thats why we had no problem having him around us. At this point I felt like I was home for good. I was with my favorite niggas and we were just enjoying life talking about our future. After another hour or two of smoking, John dropped me off at my house and told me they would come over tomorrow because they knew my mom was gonna tear the kitchen up for thanksgiving.
The next morning came fast as I woke up I saw John and Tin already sittin' on my couch watching TV. They began laughing soon as I woke up because last night I mentioned going to the mall and realized the mall was closed on Thanksgiving. We just chilled all day as if we were resuming the previous night. My mom was happy to see John as well. Back in high school John fucked his arm up and my mom would call him crippled so that became the nickname my mom would use to get his attention. She knew what trouble John had been in and so did his mom so they would both come to me and ask me to make sure I talked to him to get his life back straight.
Once my mom brought the food in the living and dining room we tore that shit up immediately. I was surrounded by the people I love and the people who love me. There couldn't be a better feeling.
Friday was just a chill day. All we really did was hit the malls and played ball like back in high school.
Saturday came around and we all knew that was the day we were all going to hit the town. As the day went on I gave John a call. He told me he had some things to take care of and would be over later. I was fine with that because I knew that was how John was, busy during the day and party at night. The day had passed and it was now about nine at night. I gave him another call and he said he would be on his way in about thirty minutes. I just continued to get ready with my brother and other friends who were all at my house. About two hours had passed and I gave his line another ring. This time he did not answer. I figured he was either busy or not by his phone. He was known to have a dead phone at all times. So with that in mind we all figured he didn't want to go out so we just hopped in our cars and headed out for the night without him.
Thanksgiving break came to an end as Sunday morning approached. My Uncle was on his way to my house to give me a ride back to school. I had got bad news that my grandfather had passed away on thanksgiving in front of his house, he was 85. He had played a critical role in my childhood and helped me become the man I am today. It was a sad loss but I knew I had to move on. I figured I could not get any more bad news since I was leaving town. We were about an hour outside of St. Louis on the way back to Beloit and I got a call from my mother. She asked me if I had talked to John's mom. Usually when she called me and asked me that exact same question it was because he didn't come home and they figured I knew where he was. This time the phone call was for a different reason. My mother explained to me that John had been murdered Saturday night about thirty minutes after I got off the phone with him. "He was shot in his head, to death." Those were the next words out of my mom's mouth as I dropped my phone not knowing what to do next. I was so shocked I couldn't even cry or speak. I just picked up the phone and replied "I'll talk to you later."
Just within a weekend I had lost a great friend to the end of a barrel and a male role model.
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